Better

[kyra_ojosverdes]

The ear doesn't hurt as bad this morning, I'm not as queasy, and I have a little energy. I've been cleaning, and the place looks almost presentable. Cecilia (the boys' grandmother) got a late start, so I've got extra time to clean, rest, clean.

Wasband #1 called, about 30 minutes ago. This is the "not terribly bright" one, the one who was violent. He has epilepsy, and has a "generalized tonic clonic" (aka gran mal) seizure about once every 3-6 months, usually because he's stopping taking his anticonvulsant medication. This has been a problem since we got married in 1992, and so far he doesn't recognize a pattern. Stop taking the meds, have a seizure. Three times that I know of, he's had a seizure while driving a big rig: logging truck or dump truck. Lovely. The dump truck incident was in the middle of "Malfunction Junction" in Missoula. (For those not in Missoula, Malfunction Junction is where three major streets intersect... many cars. Not a good place to lose control of the dump truck.)

Doug: Well, I've got some news for you. Add a "hick drawl" to his imagined voice. Good.

Me: Okay. If you tell me you're not coming to get the boys, you rotten little...

Doug: Well, Mom's being weird again.

Me: Okay. Spit it out, I've got shit to do that's more pleasant that talking with you. (Note: the man just turned 40 and still lives with his mother. Not because she's old and needs help, either. She's just fine. Don't trust her further than I could throw her, but I could throw her at least a few feet. She's little.)

Doug: Well, she says I can't drive or nothin', because I'm off my meds.

Me: So she's driving? Well no SHIT she says that, you idiot, if you had any idea how many times I've tried to get your driver's license pulled for that bullshit... I lie awake nights wondering when you're going to drive off a winding mountain road with my children in the car.

Doug: Yeah, she insisted, she's just bein' crazy, you know how she gets.

Me: So when did she leave? I'm not your therapist, I'm not your family counselor, she's right and you're stupid.

Doug: 'bout half an hour ago.

Me: Okay, so she won't be here for a couple of hours. Good. I can clean more. They were planning to be here right about now.

Doug: Yeah, I guess. So tell the boys that it's not nothin' to do with them or anythin', why I didn't come up, it's just her, sayin' I can't drive, just because I'm off my meds. She thinks she runs my life or something, like I'm still ten years old.

Me: Well frankly, I'm glad to hear that you're not driving. You've had accidents before when you went off your meds and had a seizure, and that really worries me, especially when you've got the boys in the car and are going over Lost Trail Pass. If you lost control of the car and went off the road, you'd probably all be killed. (There's a steep dropoff on one side of the road through that pass, and I do mean steep.)

Doug: Well, I'm just fine, been checked out by the doctors and everythin'. She's just being crazy and weird. I feel fine.

Me: You've had seizures before when you were feeling fine. Anyway, I'll tell the boys that you'll be waiting for them in Salmon, and looking forward to seeing them again. Mark has a Fathers' Day card that he's all excited to give you. (When the doctors say "everything is fine," it means he's not telling them what he's been doing.)

Doug: Well I feel just fine, and I can drive, and she's just trying to run my life...

Me: Hey, I need to go, there's a neighbor kid at the door. I'll talk to you later. It wasn't really a lie, there was a neighbor kid at the door. Said kid didn't need my attention, and wasn't knocking at the door, but what the hell.


I ask yet again... what the HELL was I thinking when I married these boils on the ass of humankind??

Comments

[anahata56.livejournal.com]

I'm sure I'm telling you something you already know, but his not taking his medicine is a control issue. He clearly doesn't like anyone around him (his mother, the doctor and YOU most particularly)"telling him what to do--so he goes off the medicine and asserts his "self-ness".

(Insert said drawl here:)"I told 'em I don't need no pills, and I by God and NOT going to take them just because they say so. And if that means I end up having a seizure in the middle of the road with a load of logs and kill somebody in the process, then, hey, at least I did it MY way, didn't I?

K, I don't know how you ended up with this butt boil--probably for the same reason I ended up with mine...

It seemed like a good idea at the time.

Yeah

[kyra-ojosverdes.livejournal.com]

That's it exactly. What an ass.

I try hard not to get drawn into the constant battles between him and his mother (who taught him all about being a control freak), but today I'm not in the "smile and nod" mood. Stupid ass.


"K, I don't know how you ended up with this butt boil--probably for the same reason I ended up with mine..."

Because we were taught as girls that it was our role in life to make men happy? Or was that just me?

Re: Yeah

[anahata56.livejournal.com]

I don't think it was anything even that simple--for me, I think that it was, perhaps even more inadvertantly insidious than that.

I looked at my Dad, in all his sweetness, and figured that that's what men were like.

How was I to know I was growing up in the house with a paragon?

Re: Yeah

[fuckingsilence.livejournal.com]

Because we were taught as girls that it was our role in life to make men happy?

You mean you think it isn't?

*runs out of the room dodging hurled fruit, darts, and frying pans*

Re: Yeah

[mindscat.livejournal.com]

i would never toss a frying pan! *shocked face*


bricks leave better dents *evil grin*

*rolling eyes*

[mindscat.livejournal.com]

man, do we all have a boil and his mother in our past?

my boil's mother was actually worse than the boil. i would get calls from her at 3 in the morning, with her ranting a list of all the people i had supposedly slept with. the main ones being my gay roomate and ALL of our neighbors. you think they would have had the decency to tell ME we were having sex.