I am becoming

How in the world does one teach a cat manners? Dogs, sure. Cats?

Jack will not eat off people-dishes. The first time Mark offered Jack some bits of chicken, on a little plate, Jack looked horribly conflicted. (Sort of like when Mark picked him up and put him on the table. He knew he wasn't allowed to be on the table, but he also wasn't supposed to jump away from the kid, that'd just be rude.) He obviously wanted to eat the chicken, but was also obviously certain he was not allowed to eat the chicken, and confused as hell as to why the kid was trying to trick him into eating the chicken. We've since discovered that he'll happily eat the people-food scraps if they're put into his food dish. Only if they're put into his food dish. Not beside his food dish. Inside his food dish.

Jack will meow to be fed in the morning, but only if he thinks you're already awake. If one of the kids is up, he doesn't bother with me. He meows to get the kid's attention, then walks to the top of the stairs and waits for the kid to follow. If the kid fails to follow, he meows again. He then leads the kid down the stairs and to his food and water dishes or, if his litterbox needs some attention, to said litterbox. Then he sits and waits expectantly as his needs are tended to.

If my room is messy, he's in a terrible fix. He won't step on clothing, phone books, papers... he likes to spend lots of time under my bed, so a blocked path is a real problem for him. Before I realized what the issue was, I'd watch him stand there all perplexed, trying to figure out how to get from Point A to Point B without stepping on anything. Interestingly enough he'll step on the phone, which sits on the floor. It's the base to a cordless phone, and so has a nice big speakerphone button right in the middle of it. He'd step on that button everytime, then jump a foot or two at the very loud dial tone. Poor Jack.

Now, he'll pee in corners and on clothing left on the floor. He does look guilty when caught, and runs to hide under my bed. We still have occasional problems with his biting the kids during a petting session. He won't jump up on the counters. He won't jump onto the table, and was very relieved, that one time, when I told Mark that Jack wasn't allowed on the table and to please lift him down. He only jumps onto beds in order to cuddle, never to wake anyone. He's never broken anything.

Who taught this cat manners, and how??? (For those who don't know, we got Jack at the animal shelter in November. He was neutered and declawed and is an indoors-only cat.)

ETA: general opinion in comments is that Jack's former owners were awfully (as in awful) firm in their discipline. This makes me sad. Jack is such a sweet kitty. :-(