I am becoming

I have learned to drink my coffee without any sweetener.

I feel so much closer to being a Real Grownup™ now.

I maintain that I must keep using creamer-things in my coffee because I am at risk for osteoporosis and milk does a body good. Yes, even the powdered chemical stuff that has never been within ten feet of anything resembling milk. Using creamer-things in my coffee is the responsible adult thing to do. My health, you see.

That is all.


ETA: (It's never all, is it?) Okay, about that grownup thing. It has just occurred to me that I am less than seven years away from the age at which my mother became a grandmother, and only three years from the age at which my grandmother gained such status.

*blink*

Bookkeeper: Hey, I've got a bunch of paperclips here, where do you want them?
Me: OOOhhhhhH!!! Paperclips!! *holds out hands like two year old getting chocolate*
Bookkeeper: *blink* I want my box back.
Me: Okay. *starts picking oversize paperclips out of pile* I am a paperclip segregationist. A paperclip sizeist, if you will.
Bookkeeper: *snort*
Me: *coos over little box of shiny silver paperclips* Is this where all my paperclips go when they leave my loving hands?
Bookkeeper: Yes.
Me: I'm delighted to know they're caught so gently and held with such care.
Bookkeeper: AccountantGuy saw my box of paperclips. He gasped and said "You need to return those!"
Me: [to AccountantGuy] Thank you, AccountantGuy. [to Bookkeeper] AccountantGuy knows how I feel about my paperclips.
Two Passing Coworkers: *snort*
Bookkeeper: *backs away slowly, clutching now-empty box*
Me: *coos over paperclips and carefully arranges them*

I can't tell you how relieved I was to learn that I'm not the only one. (Thanks to ladytabitha for that link.)