kyra_ojosverdes | Entries tagged with samvimes

samvimes is a vampire. I wake up during the night to find his side of the bed empty. He's gone for a while. He comes back an hour or so later and crawls into bed like he'd just gotten up for a drink of water. I'm sure he's out preying on neighborhood pets or something. I really wish he'd get that damn squeaker-dog across the way. It's a good thing that leash isn't two feet longer, or that dog would be airborne. It yaps and comes running whenever I or any of the kids go out the front door, and seems to think it's immune to the crushing effects of my car's tires when I drive to or from my parking area.

Certain discussions are best conducted while drinking bottled beverages, because pointing the opening of a glass bottle in order to make one's point greatly improves the efficacy of said point.

Ambush-style gay bashing which takes place outside gay bars could be resolved by hiring ninjas. This one is purely samvimes's. Dress the ninjas up like drag queens so they look like easy targets, send them out one or two at a time when you know there's a group of cowboys or frat boys waiting to beat up some queers, and have them "ninj on their asses."