Last Night, Today, Blah de Blah

[kyra_ojosverdes]

"This is probably a bad idea," I thought as I grasped the medium-sized kitchen knife.

"Nonsense!" cried She Who Runs With Scissors. "You have finally discovered that there is a sliver of glass embedded in the heel of your foot, causing you moments of unexpected and confusing pain when your foot hits the ground just right! Surely having had glass in your foot for a matter of weeks is much worse then removing the glass!"

"With a kitchen knife?"

"We use what we have."

"At 9:45 pm, which is very late at night for me these days?"

"There's no time like the present, darling. Start slicing."

These misgivings presented themselves several more times during the 30 minutes I was contorted into what must be a yoga posture or means of torture, digging into the heel of my right foot with the long Farberware blade. Each time I heard the tip of the knife scritch against the glass, though, She Who Runs With Scissors increased her resolve. The glass would be removed if it meant slicing off my heel.

In the end, Crazy-Scissors-Chick was right. The glass was removed and disposed of properly. The heel doesn't hurt anymore. Another case of DIY surgery ending well.

I dug a hole today. With a shovel. Not the motorized kind. It didn't hurt. I dug as fast and well as the guy in the next hole over. In fact, I finished before he did. Woo.

I carried sheets of plywood across the width of the job site today. I carried two sheets of thick plywood at a time. They're really heavy, especially when you're carrying them more than a few feet and have to carry eight pieces total. Today, I learned why I always see pictures of women in third-world-countries carrying heavy and bulky objects atop their heads. IT REALLY WORKS! The hardest part is lifting the heavy object (sheets of plywood) above your head. Once there, just make sure your spine is straight, balance the load on your head, and walk. Then get it back off your head without hurting your back. I'm getting pretty good at carrying Big Heavy Nasty Things. Yesterday I carried bundles of thick (1.5" diameter) rebar. Narrow heavy items go on the shoulders. The hard part is getting the object up to your shoulder and back down. This is especially difficult with bundles of rebar, as they shift, grab and tear clothing, and pinch skin like you wouldn't believe. On the job site, rebar gets called even more names than wet concrete. Wet concrete gets called many combinations of many nasty names. I'll bet you're all utterly fascinated by these scintillating details of my workday, aren't you?

Here's something more interesting: we were vandalized Monday night.

I also went to the dentist today. The hygienist said "What's that bump inside your lower lip? Is that new?" I told her the story of my DIY oral surgery. She told the dentist. He laughed, shook his head, and said it sounded just like me, as did working on a construction site a month after finishing cancer treatment. I heart my dentist. I miss the hygienist who would hold my head against her ample bosom while cleaning my teeth... then she'd run a finger along my lower lip and coo that I had the most beautiful lips she'd ever seen. I miss her.

Comments

heh heh heh

[mindscat.livejournal.com]

DIY surgery rocks!

[64tbird.livejournal.com]

Construction vandalism sucks. (Said the girlfriend of a senior project manager.) It's easy to do and a bitch and a half to repair.

Hope you covered that heel in antiseptic too - its not the surgery itself that's dangerous - it's possible infection from the surgery. (Said the Mom.)

[roguespirit.livejournal.com]

I love your dentist story and that you miss that hygenist. You seem like the kind of person who people like that hygenist would feel comfortable doing something that like with... very cool. I think I heart you.