kyra_ojosverdes | Funny Work Things

Now that's a vibrator!
Monday, the joke du jour was "sending Katrina to get a vibrator." The bosses and I had some fun with the image of me going down to Fantasy Adult Video and purchasing a battery-operated vibrator for each guy on the concrete crew. (Here's what an actual concrete vibrator looks like. Though quite phallic, it's nothing you'd ever want to actually use for erotic purposes.)

When I went to the equipment rental place to pick it up, they said "We've got your *pause* deal all ready here." So yeah, the day was replete with vibrator jokes. The next day when the guy from Safeway Supply came to pick up the vibrator, one of the bosses asked (while the guy was standing there) "Katrina, did you just send away your best friend??" I answered "Yeah, but I told this guy that I'd be by to visit it!!" The guy turned red. (I'd actually told him I'd be by to check out the tool pouches they have on sale.)

The conspiracy is revealed
Yesterday, I dug a hole. Actually, I enlarged a hole that someone else dug. (I did not enjoy it, as it was very strenuous work which required me to breathe heavily, thereby taking more nasty smoke into my lungs and directly causing my early departure from work. I did, however, feel somewhat badass for being able to do it.) Billy, the guy I've been helping the last two days, told me that the bottom of the hole needed to be approximately eight inches from a certain line on the concrete footing. He paused, and said "Yeah, and I'm sure you can eyeball eight inches." I got out my tape measure, measured eight inches, then held my fingers four inches apart and said "but I've always been told that eight inches looks like THIS!"

Billy replied, "You can't blame us for trying. That's why we try to keep tape measures out of the hands of women."

"There's a grand conspiracy to keep women out of the construction field, and it's all because of the tape measures?"

"NOW you're getting the big picture. Or the small one."