Minutiae

At some point, I will learn to sip coffee instead of drinking it as quickly as I would water.

For that matter, at some point I will learn to drink water slowly instead of emptying the glass as quickly as possible so I can get back to whatever I was doing before deciding to drink some water.

I've mastered the art of sipping alcoholic beverages, with the aid of some operant conditioning. (I have a very low alcohol tolerance and generally start buzzing after consuming less than 1/10 a standard serving of booze. Forgetting to sip slowly leads to much unpleasantness.)

I won't drink coffee if it's hot enough to burn my mouth, so I don't get the temperature-based encouragement for small sips. Therefore I usually drain my mug quickly, then five minutes later look around and wonder where my coffee went.

*looks around and wonders where her coffee went*

To Whom It May Concern

To the person who is responsible for the abundance of sweaters on the clearance rack: I note that the sweaters

• are in my size
• are pretty affordable at 75% off
• are in styles and colors I really like
• seem pretty well-constructed and sturdy
• contain between 5% and 25% rabbit hair

I hate you forever and hope you have to sleep naked in damp wool while your skin tries to run far away to escape the awful horrible nasty animal fibers.