I am becoming

I love you, beautiful. :-*

Can we live through February?

I talked with Tess last night. She hugged me and told me that she loved me. I wasn't sure why. Not that you need a reason to say "I love you," but she said she thought I might need to hear it... and that it was, after all, February. I asked if she were referencing the 10th, and my anniversary. She said no, just the depths of hell. Yes, February.

( The Song I'm Referencing )

I'm worried about her. I'm still a little worried about me. I've been feeling worlds better, but my house still looks like a tornado hit it.. and despite the fact that I have three small tornadoes, that's really bothering me. My Christmas tree is still up. I've started to take it down several times, but my energy and motivation fizzle when I start clearing the hall closet so I can open the door to the storage space that holds the box for the Christmas things...

I love you, Tess. March comes soon, and then April. After April comes May, and green things. After May comes June, and summer, when All Is Good.

Tess moved her journal to LiveJournal, so now I can link to her! Yay!

I color-coded my friends. They're so preeeeeetty now. It should result in a little less confusion when I read something from Dan's journal and think it's from Jayme's, or vice versa. ("Wow, Jayme's really upset, she usually never cusses! Oh wait, that's Dan." Or "Gee, I've really never heard Dan talk about God and Jesus.. oh, that's Jayme's entry!")

We went to church today. It was tiring, and frustrating in the usual way. I dunno. I may have to just set aside my "church issues" for a while and deal with everything else. For now, I may just accept that it's a church full of wonderful caring loving people, and that I'll have to feed my own spirituality through reading, meditation, and so forth. (Doesn't mean I'll like it though, or that I'll stop bitching about church!)

Work and school in the morning. I'm scared. After 1.5 hours of church this morning, I slept for 4 hours. My daily school/work schedule doesn't have breaks. Hopefully dan-boss will be okay with me napping under my desk? Or something?? Yuck. Of course, I'm panicking over the papers which were due way back in October. *sigh*

Speaking of Dan, he finally got time to visit! Yay! I'd been missing him a lot. It was great to see him again. He and Tess really liked each other. Tess is happy because she's acquired three new friends so far during the visit. She's planning to keep in touch with dan-boss (Renfroe), Dan Swensen, and another friend of mine, Heidi. It's hard to glare at a friend for staying away so long when he walks in with his arms full of chocolate, latté, a CD-ROM full of MP3s, and the Lord of the Rings DVD. :-)