Awwwww.

[kyra_ojosverdes]

James, just now: "Mom, I really appreciate that you've been worried about me and that you stayed home from work today to make sure I'd be okay. It really makes me feel like I have an important role in this family and that I'm really loved."

(Awwwwww!!!)

Comments

[marigold.livejournal.com]

wow, what a great communicator!

[kyra-ojosverdes.livejournal.com]

They are pretty good at stating their feelings about things. Not just the positives, either. ;-)

[wcg.livejournal.com]

The boy perceives the truth, he does.

[kyra-ojosverdes.livejournal.com]

Always a good thing.

(Compare this to Mark's periodic speeches from the bottom of the stairs, wherein he gives lengthy proofs of the fact that I do not love him.)

[wcg.livejournal.com]

Dear Mark,

Nonsense. Your mother loves you very much.

[kyra-ojosverdes.livejournal.com]

That's pretty much what his brother and sister tell him, though in different terms than I'd use. ("Mark, if Mom didn't care about you, you'd be dead, because you couldn't live without Mom working so we have a place to live and food to eat and clothes to wear! You're not dead, so she cares about you!")

Yeah, a little stark there...

[annieover.livejournal.com]

I get a lot of those, but it really is the ways in which you love a child that stick in the long haul.

[kyra-ojosverdes.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I consider the lengthy recitals of my many failings as a parent to be a good sign.

[annieover.livejournal.com]

Not really what I meant. I had one last Friday with SuperD: I told the boys to pick up the living room and got the whole "it's not fair that I have to work" routine complete with the usual "bad Mommy" accusations. I just sat there trying to think of the most constructive way to deal with the problem when he asked me why I was sitting there looking at him. And I said, "Well, I'm thinking about what you are saying to me and I'm also thinking about how your words make me feel." And to my surprise, he burst into tears and started apologizing profusely for being so mean to me. I think sometimes when children are worked up, they're so focused on their own emotions that they forget that other people have feelings too.

[kyra-ojosverdes.livejournal.com]

Ahh, I see. Nice response!

Yeah, when Mark is holding forth on my cruel and evil nature I pretty much wait until he's done, then ask if there's anything he'd like to discuss with me in a normal tone of voice. (I also remind him that he's not allowed to speak to family members that way and that it's a lot more productive to address issues directly, in the aforementioned normal tone of voice.) Interrupting his tirade seems like a waste of energy, and he's always more reasonable once he's done venting.

[annieover.livejournal.com]

Mark sounds like he has a lot of the same issues with emotional impulsiveness that SuperD does. Everything is out there and on the surface. I've tried to teach him some techniques for thinking before he speaks/acts, but I know it's going to literally take years for him master this. Since I myself am sometimes a bit "too emotional", I understand in theory even if in specific cases I'm struggling with my own emotions while I'm trying to figure out how best to help him deal with his. But like Mark, he has to reach a "point of reason" before it's even worthwhile to discuss things with him.

[kyra-ojosverdes.livejournal.com]

Yes, that's Mark! He's been "stormy" since he was tiny. Things are very good or very bad, with little middle ground, and his moods change very quickly.

There are plenty of times when I'm working hard to keep my emotions under control while dealing with the kids. "I hit him because he made me mad and I couldn't help it" comes to mind.

I'm a "retreat and think about it for a few hours, then come back to discuss it when I'm calm and have found words for my side of things" sort, so it's sometimes hard for me to deal with people who vocalize everything before they've thought it all through. I generally can't talk when I'm really upset.

[gryphonwing.livejournal.com]

I have periods of Mark-like volatility and periods of Katrina-like angry sputtering, followed by plenty of words when no one's around to hear them. :)

What I don't have is the ability to actually stay angry for very long.

Kudos to James... remember this moment. Bookmark this entry and go back to it when he's lying about whether or not he did his chores. :)

[kyra-ojosverdes.livejournal.com]

Like right now? :-)

[kyra-ojosverdes.livejournal.com]

I'm with you on staying angry. It takes work to keep me angry for more than a day... a week for something really huge. Most things are over in a matter of hours.

[mactavish.livejournal.com]

Awwwwwww!

[supremegoddess1.livejournal.com]

wow. where can i get a stepford child? ;)

[kyra-ojosverdes.livejournal.com]

Read through comments to where a little while later he was lying about having done his chores...

[hopeevey.livejournal.com]

How sweet!